Two Game Winning Streak? What the H?!?!?

(it won't last)

"You go out the next night and start a new streak"

(losing streak)

Tommy De La Juan

Great, the month of May just keeps getting better for the Rocks. DLR out for the year (and part of next year). Not only does that mean our best pitcher so far this year is gone, but we now have no lefties in the rotation. I don't see special things happening for this team the way things are going. Reynolds? Cookie? Maybe the original FrankDog at some point? Yep, bring those mediocre pitchers coming. They'll compliment the mediocre hitting. Case in point, our starting lineup for Game 2 of today's doubleheader had one player hitting above .250 (Cargo at .252). Sweet.

All Of These Position Players Hitting Below .250 Are Driving This Season Into the Shitcan (and making my butt itch out of stress)

While DT has appropriately bashed the bullpen in recent days, let's not overlook the 200 lb elephant in the room: the offense (note: the 200 lb elephant is something one of Yogabody's coworkers actually said). I will offer this up, the bullpen meltdowns wouldn't be so heart wrenching if they did not happen on the rare occasion where the offense actually scores more than one or two runs. I will also offer this up: teams teams that have one starter hitting over .250 (that would be Taaaadd, Johnny Boy didn't start today and sorry Tulo, you dropped to .250 today) do not come close to making the playoffs. At this point, it's difficult to see how a team so inept at the plate suddenly turns it around. Carney Lansford, you're better than this. Speaking of the A's they are chokers too, to the Giants no less. Shitty ass weekend in baseball.

All these blown leads is making my butt itch....

An understatement to say that the bullpen is struggling. [insert rant about Paulino]. I don't want to sound like some smart-ass-blogger-nerd, but why does Paulino have an MLB contract? Couldn't anyone do what he does (put on runners and allow dongs)? His opponent batting average is like .400... that's no joke. IT might be time to count our losses with the whole Barmes trade (at least send him down to the springs (I don't care about the whole options thing)... or MOdesto).


And whatup with the dumpness of Steet and Bettenfart? What the H?
Corpas report?

All This HR Trotting Is Making My Butt Itch.....

....I have no idea if the Giambino took a shower or not. Whatever he did, he should do more of it. Would be nice if we were entering inter-league play tomorrow, because it's very hard to keep Taaahhhddd out of the lineup the way he's been raking. Should've been a sweep, but a very nice road win. Yo-lease is now 5-2. That's good.

My 0.073 Batting Average Sucks!

When I-Dog gets 66.7% of your team hits for the day, you know there are issues with the offense. Just read the Rocks haven't scored more than 4 runs since April 20. The suits at Taco Bell are smiling, but like Stewbag, I'm crying.

By the way, that wasn't Linecum, Cain, or Sanchez pitching today....

On the bright side, the bullpen didn't blow this game.

Keep this man off the mound

Bullpen

Some pretty shitty performances out of the bullpen these last few nights, and it has rachel maddow and david bowie concerned. Up to this point it's been tough to bitch about the bullpen, they've been fairly rock solid (a bit 'bend but not break' I suppose). But, these last couple of games were pretty lame in the late innings, so yeah, I'm officially bitching about them. I guess you could also blame the RISP LOB (as usual).

And why is Paulino getting put in during tied games? I don't care if he has good 'stuff'; the guy puts runners on base and/or gives up runs.... very Hurdle-esque in my opinion.

As A Way To Cheer Up After Godawful Giants Series Opener....

I give you my favorite Cubs fans from the weekend.....






Disclaimer: I don't think that bro brah in the Tulsa Drillers gear and a 9 stadium beer cup stack in his hand was a Cubs fan (he was a Red Sox fan - go figure). An entire post could be dedicated to the good folks in that row....but that chick, this picture doesn't even begin to do her justice. That would require volume.

I Don't Really Embody 80's Hardcore,.....Sorry About The Complete Game Shutout.....

The blog is dead? Long live the blog?

Hard not to muster at least a "hell, yeah 10-2 Rockies!"

6 days

7 days

7 Year Pony?

Please, please let these rumors of a 7-year, $80 million Little Pony contract extension be true...Pony - Tulo as a 3-4 punch in the lineup for the next 7 years sounds good, check that, great to me. Not to mention the defensive wizardry the pair offers on top of the production. Remember, these two both finished in the top five in MVP voting last season. Barring any chronic injuries, I don't see how this Carlos contract can be a bad deal for the Rocks.

Still a little nervous these reports end up falling through, especially with the Boras factor in play. But assuming they don't, this a great day for the Rockies. Pulling off a handsome, but reasonable, contract means we can simply enjoy watching Pony's talents and stop assuming the clock is simply ticking before he jets to deeper pockets once free agency hits. It also means there will be entertaining baseball to watch at Coors for quite some time. Ink that shit as soon as possible please....