Thursday, August 27, 2009

What the hell Todd???

What is Todd Helton f-ing thinking? This is clearly a sign of old age and bad judgment. Could things get any worse? No, I'm not upset about old Todd's lackluster effort today Coors Field. It's worse then that. It is really, really, really, really bad.
I don't know what you really call it. Coming to the Plate Music? At Bat Jams? Batting Tunes? Theme Song? Anyways Todd. Yours sucks! This music is supposed to be inspirational and uplifting. Yours is downright depressing Todd! Fix it now.
"These Are My People" by Rodney Atkins??? No way man. Here is my suggestion to you Todd. Use it.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Rough night for DragonSlayers

Not the Rockies' night in general either.
Fogg unfortunately forced into a start that most certainly doesn't suit him at this point, better out of the 'pen, dude was not really able to locate his pitches this evening.
Doesn't help that Wolf (god, he has been money for the Dodgers) is on the mound for LA, and one major cocksucker with the initials AE really living up to that moniker with a couple dongs.
Offensively, Spilly continues to warrant the fact that he survived what are now obviously ill-advised trade talks earlier this season.
Oh, and EYjr led the team in hits tonight. Nice for the Youngster.
"How much do you want for the Fantasy themed Tele custom?"

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

"But Dad, do we get kicked in the nuts during the Rockies game or after?"

"Sorry children, I didn't realize your khaki shorts were so vulnerable. Nor did I realize that Tulo would be so damn clutch in extra innings. To answer your stupid question, it will be a relentless kick to the balls that will begin during the game, and linger for quite some time after the Rockies have beat our fucking Dodgers. You'll beg for it to stop, but the only solace or shelter in Dodgertown you will find will be an old jockstrap of Steve Garvey's. The shelter will be minimal."

Wow. Great game tonight. Coors Field is really apeshit these days, as well it should be. Not sure what I was going for with the narrative read it, one would think I was altered from stadium brews or some such.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Holy Shit! That's Mr. Spilly!

With all due respect to Marq-Dog, who pitched a gem......the headline goes to Senor Spilly....

What an unlikely series of events between what was two utterly inept offenses for the first 13 innings of the game who then decide to explode for a combined eight runs in the 14th. Spilly, who hit into a win-crushing double play a few innings earlier, drills a walk-off grand slam. It's possible I'm currently sleeping and this is all some weird dream, but that was one hell of a game. I could go on, but I need to get some beauty sleep before Guys Night Out tomorrow night.....

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Just Thought I'd Drop By And Say, "Hey!"

I bet y'all have missed me around these parts. Well, if you were at the game last night, you got a little backwash flavor of the old Hurdle era. Yeah, I like the moves to keep Ianetta in the lineup and why keep the hottest hitter in the league this side of Matt Holliday in the lineup (C-Gone), when you can insert the red-hot Spilly. The only move I question is not keeping Cookie in the game a little longer to completely fuck up his shoulder.

Even though the offense didn't produce shit all night, we did get some good barrel on the ball, and that counts for something, right?

Tuesday, August 18, 2009


The dude is living up to the nickname I was hearing during his A's days... The Car-Go moniker is more popular and fashionable apparently....but Jesus H Christ, Carlos is on a Home Run, baseballs being sent "gone", rampage.
Love this quote from Tracy before tonight's game. "Carlos Gonzalez is doing some serious damage offensively right now." No shit, dude.
Some love to Barmes due as well, he was able to tack one on we didn't know we needed, until Street made things all kinds of dicey. He hasn't looked sharp lately.
Ubaldo? Fairly magnificent besides the early innings...
THE WILD CARD is just nuts....SF and the Marlins get their wins as well. Braves lose. Time to seperate the wheat from the chaff, I guess...though in my mind all teams besides the Rox are chaff, so technically unwanted. Don't get me started on the ancient process of winnowing...

Welcome to the Rocks, Tyler

Pretty shocking that the Rocks actually do sign the highly-touted top LHP prospect out of high school, Tyler Matzek. Let's hope he isn't the next Greg Reynolds

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Roid Rage on Ump with the Sweaty Belly

You know the deal with the PEDs. You love the HRs, but you got to expect some episodes like the one Tulo had with the damp gutted ump in the second game of today's double header.

I hope Game 1 was a fluky outing by Cook indicative of rust and not evidence that the toe is still an issue. The "night cap" was one wacky game. Rocks definitely needed to get the win. The Fish are frightening. Get us the hell out of Miami and to what should be kinder pastures of DC.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Palling around with Brian McNamee

Ok, that's not really Brian McNamee, but as requested somthing needed to be said about the ridiculous play of Troy Tulowitzki lately. I don't know how many players have gone concourse twice in one game, but Tulo did on Monday. And he's hit dongs in 3 of the last 4 games... not bad. You might want to think about sharing some of those roids with your friends G and I Dog (I don't really think Tulo's on roids; I just think it's funny to blog about Herges-related topics).

Monday, August 10, 2009

Tulo with some 1st inning yardwork....

Been awhile since I've done what the real bloggers call, "live blogging", but felt I should throw up a post, after that monumental Tulo-dong in the bottom of the first. Shit, that was one where you had a better chance at that ball if you were in the beer line on the left field concourse than in any actual seats.
Let's take this series. Quit looking so damn dicey DLR...
UPDATE: Tulo screwed on a granny dong numero dos. Not foul.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Seeing life. Through the bottom of a stadium beer cup. It's the only way...

Crazy fun night out at the old ball yard last evening. Especially sweet to kick off the homestand with a win against the Cubs.
Rockies were able to take advantage of the late Zambrano scratch and jump all over Marshall early, not to mention tiring out the bullpen after Marshall got the 2nd inning hook.
Really encouraging night at the plate for Fowler and Car-Go, and even I-Dog able to contribute with the game's only HR. Tracy finally sits the slumptastic Barmes (sheesh, 2 for his last 46?!?).
Nice to see that the majority of fans were for the home team, my guess is 2/3rds of the crowd were Rockies backers.

Obligatory pre & post game Natty Lights at Swanky's, on top of the numerous stadium brews, making for a hazy subdued Saturday at the Tooth household.

Keep rolling, Rocks.....

Friday, August 7, 2009

Cubs zombies to invade Denver....

With this little bastard as their soulless zombie overlord, the streets of Denver will be awash with mindless idiots in jerseys bearing the names of Grace, Sandberg, Santo, and maybe even a couple Sosas. It will be horrible.
You got to do what you can to stem the tide...wish I had tix to all the games instead of just tonight. Going to be an unfortunate amount of Blue & Red taking over Coors Field the next few days.
I'm throwing beer on every person I see wearing a "Fukedome is my homie" t-shirt.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

World Champs?!?!

Maybe caught the Phils at a good time, as they are in a bit of reel right now.
G-Dog doing an admirable job of trying to restore his good name with a 4 RBI night that includes a roundtripper.
Fowler with some awesome fielding, particularly in the bottom of the 7th. Hammel able to get out of a pretty dicey bases-loaded jam in the Phillies half of the 3rd, striking out Howard. On the downside, Barmes continues to suck at the plate. If the Rockies were in a normal year swoon, would we be seeing EY Jr, instead of the slumping Barmey?

Too bad the rest of the Wild Card teams are hanging so damn tough. Or, too bad the Dodgers don't hit a real honest-to-goodness rough patch where their stranglehold on the NL West can get below 5 games.......
Little Lloyd Christmas over there on the right can't be liking tonight's outcome.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Road Sweepins

Marq-Dog was denied his 13th victory, but the Rocks showed some grit and pulled out their first extra inning win of the year. In a way, that might be better than the more conventional route to victory that this game seemed to be on course for. Dex and I-Dog really come up big in the 11th. Who would've thunk that? Considering how bad the Giants are killing the Phils, it's damn good timing to sweep a road series and notch four in a row after a rough start to the roadie. Enjoy the day off tomorrow and being concocting that '07 road playoff magic that happened in Philly. Maybe Kaz can play 2B for this series?!?

Oh, and the Rocks are enjoying a season-high 11 games over .500 record at the moment. Bravo....