Saturday, April 18, 2009

I Can't be Counted On.

No. Not the Meat Puppets song....but the refrain from a #1 starter's poorly digitally doctored visage on a Rockies blog.
"I'm back in the '09. Maddow and Bowie, take note (hell, maybe even alert Eno and Colbert). I'm just as prone to leave balls up in the zone and give up hits n' taters as any jackass in our bullpen. Why all the hate for those losers? You seen my ERA? Double digits, cocksuckers. I'll give you plenty of reason to pull your hair out and drink heavier than you should, and write derogatory blog posts.
What's that you say? I'm a sinker ball pitcher. Shit...forgot about that today, I'll write myself a note so I don't forget for my next start.
I now realize the Andre Ethier that went deep today, to totally fuck our chances, was the one who acutally plays Major League Baseball with the Dodgers, NOT the one who sings for the Deadly Snakes. Gonna have to pay attention to that next time I pitch against the Dodgers. Hopefully next time it's the Deadly Snakes guy, not the actual baseball player, that would make my job much easier.


TroutDog said...

I prefer the Deadly Snakes Ethier to the the Dodgers guy any day. He's pretty much won both games thus far.

Ubaldo the Magnificent needs to be just that today to salvage a game in this series.

TroutDog said...

Does Cook normally get off to slow starts? God, I hope that's the case. I want to say that sounds familiar, but maybe it's the opposite. Fast starts and then fizzles.

Sonic Tooth said...

not sure, but he's given up 5 home runs 3 games into the season so far. only gave up 13 all of last season.
probably about time to write a post about I-Dog's one hit season. .048 average? them's all star numbers.

TroutDog said...

Indeed, very I-Dog '07ish. Can the WBC be to blame?