This team sucks so bad that me, Dinger, is no longer a relevant joke.

Sure, it still sucks to be Dinger...always has, always will.
But let me tell you what. More than ever, I feel that the focus of the fan's disdain is squarely on the field.
Not on the tops of dugouts, or the front row directly behind homeplate, or even in the left-field bleachers during an unsolicited visit to your hound while he was trying to enjoy Paws at the Park. No.

Case in point, Hawpe has a greater chance of getting his ass kicked while walking down the streets of Denver nowadays than I do.
For reals.
Even one-time golden boys like Francis, can't walk the dark streets of the Highlands with his Redbone Coon hound, Barkley, in complete safety since this 2008 season disaster has reached its current apex.
Think about it. Would you prefer to have your gut vaguely molested by a bald baby and a toe-headed toddler as you see in this photo, or be an actual member of a team that is such a fucking joke (i don't use that language around the youngsters mind you) and disappointment as the 2008 Colorado Rockies? Don't even bother answering, jackass...because I know your reply. The choice is easy, you'd rather be in a sweaty, purple suit parading around like some kind of simpleton, retard dinosaur, than say....consistently choking with RISP...or maybe spotting the opposing team 4 or 5 runs in the first inning of a ballgame...or blowing 8 run leads to the Cubs...

Dear Rockies, Thanks for the kick to the balls.

Yours,

TroutDog

What can you say when your only bright spot this year on the hill blows a huge lead with a little help from last year's untouchable closer? Hard to even fathom how a team loses an 8 run lead, but leave it to the 2008 Rockies, they found a way. Disgraceful, humiliating, mind-blowing, gut-wrenching, vomit-inducing, etc., etc. etc. It can't get any worse than this. Well, I will reserve judgement on that. This team is mighty creative. You got your paper bag ready for next weekend, DT?

Das Boot Will Wash Away Your Rockies Blues

Another crappy loss for the Rockies, but a solid win for Das Boot. Really, what matters more in the grand scheme of things? Sure the Rockies offense battles back only to have some bad errors (didn't see the game, but apparently, Herges really fucked up) spoil a would be great road win, but Das Boot holds down a narrow 2 run lead in the bottom of the 6th to give pitcher/skip his first E League win on the mound. See, there's a lot to smile about. And Cookie is on the mound tomorrow. Now might be a good time to get that first win of the roadie.

Great!!!

You're suppose to chew it and then spit it out (according to Spilly).

... and not give up a shit load of runs in the first 2 innings.

These Sky Sox suck.

The Anti-Cook(s)

After a promising 3-run dong by Spilly in the top of the first, Jorge De La Rosa, with the help of Jason Grilli and Josh Newman, have combined to give up 16 runs through 6 innings. Not quite the same type of outing Cookie had yesterday. I knew this road trip had the potential to get ugly, but not this ugly out of the gate. The team is going to be offensively challenged with so many starters out of the lineup, so pitching will be crucial to scrap together wins. So far, the pitching staff gets an F. No pressure tomorrow, Ubaldo.

Hoist a few for Cook.

If I had wanted to watch a Sky Sox game I would have gone to the Springs.

Well, this thing finally starts working...

Nice clutch win...pretty rare in a season where the Rockies' tendency seems to be to get the short end of the stick, or simply the shaft.

Holliday steps up all kinds of huge late in the game. Might have to reach for the Holliday jersey T for today's afternoon game.

Damn, every (rare) win this team gets I hope is the catalyst to turning this shit season around. Everytime I think/say that though they just revert back to a string of 1-2 series'.

Guess I better rub the rabbit foot a bit harder... or preferably the Rockies just start playing up to their potential.

Sure, I'll Blow A Game

Yet another chapter in a excruciating season the Rockies have scripted so far. It looked like the Rockies were headed toward a scrappy win, even with an unimpressive offensive performance. On the other hand, the game had that classic "we're not going to win this game" look to it, even with a lead going into the 9th. I even told DT, "they should just keep Buchholz in," after he mowed down the top of the 8th in order. Sure enough, blown offensive chances come back to haunt the Rockies and the bullpen erases the best outing of the year for Ubaldo. Game lost, series lost, chance for a very productive homestand lost, and it's looking like the season is doomed.

It's easy to pin this one on Fuentes, and he certainly deserves a lot of blame for screwing up a 2 run 9th inning lead to the punchless Giants offense, but a familiar lack of timely hitting continues to haunt this team. I believe the Rocks ended at 1-12 with RISP. As wretched as that is, it's even worse considering the one hit didn't produce an RBI, since the runner (Helton I believe) didn't score from 2nd on the sharply-hit single. This game should've been put away early and the opportunity for insurance late was squandered. God, this team is hard to watch.

I wish I could manage a baseball game.

Why the hell were our scrub bullpen pitcher being put in during a 1-run game. Barmey's HR could have been a walk off job, if the bullpen would have gotten it done.
Arias? Why the hell would you put that dude in with the game still within reach. A lot of things to compalin about tonight loss I guess: G-Dog's lack of clutch hitting, Cook's slow start (other than his clutch hitting), Arias's suckiness, Pods's E, and Hawpe's continued suckiness (it sounds like he might be hurt... ah no comment), and yes Hurdle's dicey moves with the bullpen. Got to win tomorrow to take 2 consecutive serieses (is that a word?).

Probably had no business winning that game I guess, but still a win like that along with the last 3 would be the kind of thing to turn this season around.

Only 9 under

Good come from behind performance (that's what she said) by the Rockies tonight. Barmes still validates my theory from my drunkin state of yesterday (you heard it here first): Clint Barmes is the best baseball player in the history of baseball; 2 for 4 with a dong. It seems like he does that every game. Good games by Holiday and Yorvit as well. I would have like to see Helton build on his solid outing from yesterday, but .... Bullpen came through rather awesomely: My main-man Grilli, Herges, Taylor, and TD's main man Fuentes; only wish Jorge would've got the W. Hopefully TD and I will have broom option for the business man's special on Wed.

ST back in the hizzie? Going to be some dupe posting or still jet-lagged?

Oh and did you hear some Red Sox pitcher through a no-hitter. I love hearing about that team.

My Main Man Francis

Well, the Northside finally gets a victory in a game that kind of wasn't so close in the end. DT, Steve, and I were sitting in CF. The thong was in full effect. Clutch.

Tomorrow night, TD will be in DC taking in the Phillies-Natttys game. I trust BSB will keep the hot streak (2 games) going in my absence.

My Rockies?

What the hell?

Well we haven't won in over a week now. What the fuck? Hurdle needs not play the guys that are hitting below .250 (Yorvit, Hawpe, and Baker), and start playing the dudes that are getting it done. This season could be over by the end of home-stadn if we win less than 3-games, which by the looks of things will most definitely happen (Oh, most definitely). It's still the 8th I guess, but how oftern do the rockies come from behind to win late???. How about some blog jinxing for the twinkies.

Oh yeah, and Corpas fucking blows (no pun intended).

Do I Have To Be An Every Day Starter?

For Christ's sake! Do I have to win all of the games for the Rockies this year? Nice start Francis. Here we are one game removed from my next start, and sure enough, zero wins since my victory over Peavy. Weak. Maybe De La Rosa will get on my bandwagon and get a W tomorrow from the starting pitching roll. Can't even use the lack of run support excuse tonight, Jeffy boy, you flat sucked. Oh, and I see I draw Webb. You think I'm going to cry about it? Hell no.

I Pick Peavy Out Of My Teeth In The Morning

Yep, Aaron Cook kind of stepped it up. As a Rockies fan, I approve. I present you, the Rockies Ace...

Jorge Dishin 'em

De La Rosa that is. Quality, stress-free win today for the Rocks. Haven't been many of these this season and a perfect way to follow up last night's dramatic thong-inspired comeback win. Let's hope Jorge's performance today is a sign of things to come. DT and I were at the game. I took in the game true "business man special" style, showing up in the 6th inning in my work clothes. Gotta love working 6 blocks from Coors and having a cool boss.

Another very important roadie against the ice cold Fathers and the "we never play road games" D-Bags. Cookie vs. Peavy should be a good show tomorrow night. And of course, since Webb pitched today, we'll likely face him (and probably Harren too) in the following series. Considering the pitching matchups, I'd take a .500 trip.

The Power of the Purple Thong

I-Dog and a certain undergarment (sorry Kristen) came up big tonight. Mind-blowing that the Rockies won after playing pretty lousy all game, but we'll take it. Shit, the purple thong will take it and make another showing tomorrow, I'm sure.....

The Forecast Calls for Redman Sucking Yet Again

Well, what do you know?!?! We've given up four 2-out runs in the first two innings. Yes and the opposing team's pitcher has a hand in the production. Sound familiar? Redman is garbage. I've heard rumblings in the Post of bringing back Fogg. We sure could use him at one-third of the salary as that useless Wells guy. Off season moves really look horrible right now. Kaz' clutch hits are so very missed. Looks like we're heading to another home loss.

Get Redman off this team

He straight up sucks, get him out of this game. Not that it really matters now: already down 4-0 through an inning an half. This game is over, we lost.

Sunday at Coors

Some photos of the 5/4/08 game between the Dodgers and Rocks. That frat boy really likes to do some dancing and incite the wave.....

Hola amigos....

...it's been awhile since I rapped at ya' from Greenland!

Nice to read about an afternoon victory (finally) after arriving this afternoon. baby steps, i guess is what you call wins like this after the shit-stretch the Rockies had endured. Good lord, Cookie has half of all Rockies victories this year??? Nice to know 12% of your staff is performing up to snuff.

I'll be monitoring games online while I'm here with this dude>>>>>>

Wipe That Smile Off Of Your Face

Hurdle - Your pitching staff sucks badly and your team is playing like complete garbage in pretty much every phase. Spring training is over. Why are we auditioning new players every night? Even a big night for the offense doesn't look like it will be nearly enough to keep pace with the Dodgers. In a complete reversal from late last year, we are their bitch so far in '08.

I hate the Dodgers...

IDIOT

Rockies Magazine Jinx??

Not to further pile on my main man Corpas, but I found the most recent issue of the Rockies magazine rather humorous when it arrived in my mailbox a couple of days ago. Pretty bad timing to do a feature story about how nails a guy is right after he just got benched. Might want to consider pulling this one from the newsstands and replacing it with a G-Dog cover. He's the only Rockies (Super Gallego aside) worth talking about one month into the season.

April is the cruellest month.

Always difficult to refrain from quoting from masterpieces of long-form poetry when blogging about the Rockies, so today I've culled from T.S. Eliot's The Waste Land.

"April is the cruellest month", I don't think the great scribe, Tulo, could have said it any better. It sure has been a rough one. Fairly effectively washing away any residual joy of late '07 which may have been lingering. The team appears to be a mess. Not sure if they are going to be able to turn things around...they sure as hell don't look like they will.

Hopefully May treats the hometown 9 a little bit kinder.