You guys suck. Pitchers edition.

I've got a couple others on the cusp of joining this elite club of bed-shitters. Hell, the entire staff could be here before we're halfway through May. A Joke, is putting it lightly. I can barely watch this embarrassment. Leading the league in balks (individual honors to Franklin), wild pitches (individual honors to Ubaldo, twice as much as the nearest dork-ass bitch, Congrats!), and walks (an awesome team effort there, though Ubaldo has to be looking to elevate his tied for 5th position, you can do it!)
.... from a standpoint that has nothing to do with stats, but everything to do with general appearances; I sit and endure horrid baseball from the Rockies for the better part of this young season, and wonder..."is this the same fucking 'team'?" Nothing from the inspired end of last season appears to be with the team or even the coaches.

Only last year's relatively short midseason roadtrip swoon (Jays, Cubs, blah blah) can compare to the bad vibes of pretty much the entire '08 season so far if you're asking me.

This Is Sox the Fox

He is the mascot of the Colorado Springs Sky Sox, triple A affiliate of the Rockies. I think he should welcome back some current Rockies players. The reason is that they continue to play like minor league players. Hurdle is right when he says this team does not execute. Pitchers can't get anyone out with 2 outs, choke late in games, can't throw strikes, throw tons of wild pitches, and yes, even balks. Hitters can very rarely come up with clutch hits, don't hit for power, strike out all the time, and (this is one of the most alarming stats) have ONE sacrifice fly the entire fucking season. Sure there has been some bad luck here and there, but this team really does resemble a minor league team. I'll give a few exceptions to Atkins, Helton, Holliday, Cook, Herges, and (as of late) Francis. The rest of the team looks very minor league to me....Great, I see we've walked five straight batters. Nice work, boys. They've scored two runs without a hit.....Looks like Matt Cain will get his first victory since last August.

PITCHER WANTED: One that is able to get batters out.

I shit Dodger Blue (only when I've consumed a lot of blue food coloring)

A couple of underachieving NL West teams square off tonight (And I do mean "night"), jeez I don't even live on the eastern seaboard and I recognize a challenge staying up to watch a 7:40 PDT start time through to the end.

Hopefully Jimenez can put together a good outing, and the Rockies can continue their recent ownership of the Dodgers. There really should have been some sort of ceremony honoring LA to start the '08 season for rolling over during the nutty, improbable run at the close of last year that got the Rockies into the playoffs. I had a freaking blast watching the Rox beat up on the Dodgers during that stretch. Some would call the pleasure derived perverse....

Random Cubs fans.....

Love the "fuck-off" look from the chick with the cell phone...indeed m'lady, fuck off....

Was that Fuentes out there?

The bullpen comes through (for a change)!!! No bed-shitting by Fuentes this afternoon as the Rox snap their 4-game bullpen induced slide. Perhaps, the biggest story to come out of today's game is my main man Cookie's performance. The dude's looking pretty sharp.

We still left a lot of runners on base, and a Cub error had a lot to do with the vicotry. But nonetheless, happy to come out with a vicotry, and as the great philosopher Jeff Huson said after the game, "a W is a W is a W".

TD/ST any good ballpark stories? Perhaps some that involve some jackass Cub fans?

Not feeling very bullish on the bullpen, I'm afraid.

Well, not really going to mince words...the last 4 games have been basically a load of bull shit. Bullpen shit(ting the bed) more accurately.

It could be argued, the back end of the rotation has in essence lost the last 4 games. Scary, to say the least, for the overall outlook of a season for a team that is lucky that at least 3/5ths of their division is on a similar downward trend....not so lucky that the other 1/5th is pretty much running away with the division as much as anyone can in April.

Things need to turn around in a hurry....

Oh, was trying to make dinner while the game was on in the next room during the early innings, and kept hearing loud crowd cheers over the Goodman chatter. Peeked my head out of the kitchen expecting to see a pumped Morales walking off the mound or getting out of a jam...nope, just Cubs fans taking over a stadium, cheering on the visiting team as they mounted an early lead. I hate the Cubs.

What's With All The Choking??

Christ, these last three losses have really taken away any luster from the recent road trip. Corpas getting in on the fun tonight with some 9th inning choking to blow his 3rd save this season. For the most part, he hasn't look like the same pitcher as last year. And we all know about Fuentes when he gets a little rattled. Not that the bullpen was the only party at fault tonight. Some pretty bad defense at times cost runs. Baker does not look up to the task at 2nd base (two blown double-plays) and Taveras with a stupid throw in the 9th and failing to get a good jump to make a saving catch on a ball that didn't appear to be smoked, but scored the 3 decisive runs.

Much like the D-Backs losses, it hurts to lose these games to another playoff casualty, the Phillies, especially the way it all went down. And with the white-hot Cubs coming to town for a pair, this isn't shaping up to be a good April.

Where are those Coors Light guys? I feel like I might need to vent..........

Over .500 for the first time in 2008

"...and it's name is the Spilly Snowcone Machine"

Nice little 4 game winning streak going right now actually. That 22 inning marathon duel with the Pads may have sparked something within the, so far, disappointing 2008 Rockies by the looks of this Astros series. A nice mix of blowout, and close games in the first couple.

Tonight was as it should be - Cook for 7, Fuentes for 1, Corpas for 1. Cook=W. Let's keep it up with a win for the sweep tomorrow, and head back home with a nice bit of momentum. The NL West appears to be as wacky as ever...suddenly the Rockies are in second place. But that still means 4 games back of the red-hot D-Backs. By far the biggest second to first place deficit in the bigs at this point in the young season. That 1-5 record against AZ really hurts....I really do hate snakes.

The Game Nobody Wanted to Win

Is the Rockies game still on?? ruff, ruff.....Made one good decision and on bad decision once I returned home last night after a great Das Boot victory. While I was rather tempted to continue the victory celebration with more High Life Light, I decided I would stop drinking beer and get into bed. That good decision also turned out to be, in part, a bad decision, as I stayed up in bed watching the Rockies - Padres exchange futility into the wee hours of the morning. Either the bullpens were really good (unwar Corpas?), or there was a severe lack of clutch hitting. Both teams had chances to wrap this up, but seemed to blunder opportunities. With the game going into the bottom of the 20th, Kip Wells coming in to face the heart of the Padres lineup, and clock well past 1 am, I decided to turn in.

The first sign that the Rocks were victorious came during an early morning piss. Heard my cell phone beeping and thought, hmmmm, better check this. What do you know, a text message from DeathTruck. This had to be good. "My main man Tulo!" Yes, I knew we must've won at that point. Had I been still awake, my reply would've been, "My main man Kip Wells!"

In the end, it is a great win for the Rocks. A road series victory against a divisional foe, is big for this team as they inch toward .500. The road schedule should get a little easier tonight in Houston. Super Morales needs a strong outing, because the bully is plum tuckered out after last night.

Tulo records the season's first ribbey

One of the highlights of todays game, a solid hit to the wall to cash in a couple of insurance runs. A close game until the last inning when the Rockies decided to rip the lid off it. Also some fine hitting from G-Dog and TD's main man Iannetta. Barmes also doing an adequate job of keeping his batting average close to .500. Redman with a decent outing, only giving up 3 hits. And of course my main Fuentes, Herges, and Taylor getting it done in the later innings... Get'er done!!!

The game's not over yet, but I'm guessing the lead is sufficient enough to avoid any sort of jinx. Perhaps some dupe blogging going on right now?

War 4 tacos for $1 manana
Unwar inclement weather at Ruby Hill

Barmes to the Rescue

Hurdle looked pretty genius-like after putting Barmes in the lineup today for the struggling Tulo. Clint responded by setting the tone in the 1st inning with a 2 run dong. The Rockies never trailed in this one and took out a little frustration after getting embarrassed thus far in the desert. Cookie wasn't as dominant as he was in his last start, but had a pretty decent outing to pick up his first win of the season. Not a successful series, but today's victory averts what would have been a disastrous beginning to a long road trip. Need to keep those bats hot as the Rockies travel for another important divisional series against the Fathers....

Taking a D-Back Boot Up the Ass

Apologies for the post title here, but the Rocks get destroyed for the second game in a row against a D-Backs team that looks pretty dominant in the early going this season. That makes us 0-5 against the Snakes this season....not good. Maybe this is payback for sweeping them in the playoffs last year.

We were never really in this game as Franklin got hit around pretty good early and often. Haren proved his worth as the second half of the vaunted 1-2 punch in the AZ's rotation by squashing potential rally after potential rally with big strike outs and double plays. Between two dominating pitchers and a lineup that seems to deliver doubles and HR's at will, this team looks scary good and worthy of the pre-season predictions of NL West champs. Even Byrnes has been hitting this series.

With this latest loss, the Rocks are five games back in the NL west. Of course it's too early to pay too much attention to the standings, but tomorrow's game is pretty big for April. Cookie needs to replicate his previous performance at Coors when his sinker looked Webbesque......

SNOWED OUT

Well, some entity wants to postpone a Braves sweep...

Respect my 2nd consecutive save

What? No one posting about last night's game? All right, I'll do a late post here. Awesome game last night, all around. The offense finally put up some crooked numbers on the scoreboard, and a fairly solid performance by Super-Ubaldo (although a little shakey at times). Finally we're able to put together a rally for some runs. The bullpen also looked solid with Manny getting another save and Fuentes getting a hold (isn't that what they call them?).

TD and I were in the hizzie, buying rockpile tickies, and sneaking into infield upper deck and then into infield lower deck after the stetch.

Anyone want to go tonight and get your free long sleeve t on?

You Guys Are Damn Lucky I Didn't Pick Up the Loss Tonight

Cook pitched a gem tonight and almost got tagged with the L, thanks to the Rockies hibernating bats. But wait, Holliday comes up with his second straight late inning clutch dong and Manny (after giving up a lead off single much like Brian "here we go again" Fuentes often does) induces a double play followed by a weak ground out from Chipper. I'm glad I can say Muy Bueno Corpas and not unwar Corpas once again.

Still, the bats are a joke so far. That needs to change and fast. 1 and 2 run games from our pitching staff aren't going to last all season. Still, the first crooked number of the season was posted that wasn't aided by errors. Hey....it's a start!

Double Weak

Get me the fuck out of here. The Rockies? They stink, and I hate 'em!

Very depressing brooming just went down over at Coors...not sure I can add too much to the hound's critique.

Weak

Well, 1-4 isn't quite the start the Rocks were looking for. Pretty lame game all around. Francis was quite hittable and Kip Wells remembered he was Kip Wells. A pitcher should probably be able to throw a ball to home plate with some accuracy. Looking at the batting averages on the JumboTron, it's obvious this team is hitting like a bunch of pansies. Helton aside, no one is "putting the barrel" on the ball, as our fearless leader Clint likes to say. I know it's early and probably not time to make drastic moves, but I would be in favor of putting Pods in CF and Barmes at 2B. At least for a couple of games....

Opening Day From a Couple Dozen Miles Away

Last year, I was down amongst the drunken throng in Lower Downtown Denver to take in Opening Day. This year I am much more invested and interested in the team, but I am not there, rather up in my mountain residence enjoying my own pregame festivities.

Fox Sport Rocky Mountain has me right in the middle of things and the beer is just as fine out of my own fridge.

The sun is shining, the temps are in the low 60s and many of Denver's professionals are not manning their stations/phones/cubicles; instead opting for "the day you can suddenly be back in college again." Although the beer I drink was brewed in Milwaukee, my heart is with the Rockies and a place named for our local macroswill.

I assume a great showing by the offense. May Opening Day last all year long.....

What's your policy on opening-day toddlers?

Spring Training is over fellas...

Not liking this slow-start April business. What have I been watching the past few days, the 2007 World Series?!? Where's the offense?

I better see some hometeam bat-induced fireworks tomorrow at Coors.

Rox sorta hanging in there in the final game of the Cards series this afternoon. Top of the 6th, 3-0 Redbirds, could be much worse. Mighty painful to see light-hitting pitchers pick up 2 out RBI's...while Matt Holliday's AVG after nearly 3 games sits at about .100

Didn't the Rockies Trade LaTroy?

I could've swore LaTroy Hawkins was pitching tonight in the 8th. Or was that Jorge Julio? Or maybe Jose Mesa? Assfelt, are you there? Is Ray King in the house? In any case, this Luis Vizciano cat sure reminds me of the aforementioned cast of bullpen ex patriots.



Not that it probably mattered much. Cookie confirms the fears that skeptics had about his large contract - a mediocre to poor outing for our #2 starter. Didn't look a lot different than his Cactus League performances.

The upside? Won't be able to dwell on this loss too long....back at it 14 hours....no Budweiser tonight fellas.

Not too impressive, Rox...but I'll take it.

I'd like to thank the Cardinal pitching staff and Royd Glaus for that squeaker. It wasn't very convincing, and the bats could have done some serious damage at a couple points in the game but didn't and when it mattered, settled for runs of the unearned variety.

Pitching was of startling quality. Hopefully Kipper will take Francis under his wing and groom into a #1 starter. Just kidding there Jeff. I expect something a little bit better next outing, and if it goes to shit again, bust out your mystical rain dance. That was brilliant yesterday.

Fuentes and Corpas however, mighty impressive.